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DOMINAE"GATOR"COLE
Only when the last tree has died
and the last river been poisoned
and the last fish been caught
will we realize we cannot
eat money.
- Cree Indian Proverb
Real Life
she tells me this
is real life
as she slides the
drink across the bar,
and I take a sip
and tell her that
perception is reality
and that she,
along with the drink
in my hand,
are merely
figments of my
overactive imagination
and that I`m really
a 54 year old man
zoning out at his
office job while he
fondles himself through
the right pocket
of his Dockers khakis.
How To Restring A Broken Heart
some say I need a break,
but I broke some time ago.
to be honest, I`m not sure
what I need,
maybe I`m not meant to know.
what I can do is explain you away,
as if you were not real.
and I`ll redefine what I call love,
and learn how not to feel.
and I`ll go on without the
thought of you,
or the idea of us.
and I`ll speak freely
of my happiness,
but only I`ll know it`s a bluff.
for it`s never been that easy
to restring a broken heart.
as some things that are separated
were never meant to part.
I Got This Covered
don`t worry about it,
I`ll fuck this up for
the both of us.
all I need
is to believe
that this feeling
in my stomach
has something to do
with this
thing hanging
from my sleeve.
and with a little help from
my self-sabotaging past
and my unrealistic future,
I`ll have us fucked in no time.
Nutshell
there`s a concert ticket
on my nightstand,
and some money in
my jeans.
people tell me
I should want more,
but I don`t know
what that means.
I have a job,
some records,
and heaps of books
to read.
to me, that`s more
than enough;
it`s everything
I need.
Mind Fucking Breeds Negativity
all this sophisticated
mind fucking may
never lead to
a child,
but it leaves the
heart fat full
with possibilities
of demise.
we breed desire
in the shadows
and then turn around
and gut it
with a staple
come sunrise.
slow and painful is
the life of a kid
who gives up
on love before
the gun is fired.
hope is a wounded crane
caught in the trap
of trivial cynicism
and it’s cries are
muffled with
intellect and
philosophical dogma.
i`m sick with self-love,
which is really just
self-hate with
quirky anecdotes and
HOW MUCH TRUTH DO YOU DARE?
there are no false
beats in my chest,
only false instincts
with contrived steps.
you found a way in,
but I don`t know
what it means.
i`m too busy
navel-gazing
to interpret these things.
to be understood is
simply overrated.
what value do you
posses if you`re so
easily translated?
i`m not looking for
someone to match
my intellect;
i`m merely waiting for
someone to loathe me
with a healthy amount
of respect.
your efforts are to no avail,
and you have the audacity
to question why.
and the truth is i`m sickened
by the mediocrity of your
Mike Hadreas a.k.a. Perfume Genius. Forever grateful for his generosity and for putting me on "the list" so that I could attend his sold out show in Austin. Buy his record now!
http://www.matadorrecords.com/perfume_genius/
My dear friends on Hawaii taught me the true meaning of ALOHA!
Kauai is one of the most magical places I have ever been.
Soup...it's what's for dinner!
I wanted some ink that was completely original and random. Soup on the side is exactly that!
Paris, France
Best busking I've ever heard in Metro!
Billings, Montana
Snuck backstage and met Hanson! They signed my axe. Taylor, I still love you!
Madrid, Spain
A lovely gentleman I happened upon.
Sydney, Australia
One of the most tuned-in people I have ever encountered, and he's about as serious as I am.
Billings, Montana
My little sister and I with Gavin Rossdale from BUSH. Had him sign my Converse sneaker! What a good sport.
Cancun, Mexico
Zip lining...upside down...for shits and giggles.
Billings, Montana
The first time I was ever brave enough to do the limbo at the skating rink. I lost :)
London, England
Sometimes you run into Sienna Miller when you're trying to find the Piccadilly Tube.
Portland, Oregon
Ummm...one of the best nights of my life!
Park City, Utah
Meeting my favorite actress in world, the wonderful Catherine Keener!
Grand Junction, Colorado
First time I ever dyed my hair with henna.
Los Angeles, California
I introduced his guy to coconut water. Yummy!
Cody, Wyoming
Little guys holding a sign I made of a protest.
Auckland, New Zealand
Motto to live by...
Austin, Texas
Speaking of random, I got this on 6th St.
South of France
Dudes with pipes, beards and walking sticks are umm...EPIC!
Seattle, Washington
Kurt Cobain's house. Fyi, I jumped the fence!
San Diego, California
Front row that The Kills show!
Palm Springs, California
Laundromat where a guy tried to sell me drugs. Please note how weird the word "landromat" is.
Billings, Montana
Sign I made and held with this lovely lady on Easter Sunday. 
Somewhere In Nevada
This guy taught me all about "old school truckers" while I was trucking.
My journey of self-discovery and truth really began in New Zealand. My experiences there have shaped the person I have become today. No matter where I roam, my heart is always in NZ!
When I was a kid, I wanted to grow up to be an alligator. I'm still waiting.
It all began with a smile...
Who's Paul?
And it has come to this.
I told him not to go.
She never listens.
Tattooed hearts
don't make love
permanent.
Taken back and taken.
Diamond scars over
cocaine hearts.
Morning knows more
about me than I ever
told the night.
Who's Paul?
Wired up and idle.
White gloves
and knee deep in
a filthy habit.
Ward of the state
and state of my mind.
I'm ready to go.
Closed up and broken open.
Running to catch up
with my past.
Take me...home.
Who's Paul?
Ashtrays and painted
fingernails.
Tied up with x-mas lights
and bound to obligation.
Standing straight because you
no longer bend.
She stays high while
I'm at an all time low.
Only strangers could know me now.
Let go of letting go.
Electric white and
five shades of grey.
I'd be happy if only I knew...
Who's Paul?
One-way Ticket To You
Only candor can cauterize a wound
while simultaneously opening
another.
There is no point in
waiting until you are
whole before giving
your heart away.
The recipient, too, will carry their
luggage with a bent back.
How many bags will you be
checking in this relationship?
One?
Two?
Three…dear God!
One must rifle through these
bottomless suitcases of
stagnant emotions
and realize that what we were
is no longer who we are.
Toss it in the rubbish bin,
that no longer suits you!
And perhaps one day there will be
no need to check a bag at all.
Truth fits nicely in any carry-on.
The idea is not to be complete,
the idea is to be completely you.
Foreclosed <3
I don’t want you all boarded up
and impossible.
I want to bare witness to the
depth of your complexity which
surfaces in fragments of boisterous bliss.
Your presentation of self is ridged.
You are aloof…despondent...distant
and yet somehow the closest I’ve come
to intrigue since discovering
I was my only true enemy.
Don’t temp me with stubbornness
as I was born to wait.
I suffer in silence and cry out only
when the trees are bent
and my anguish can be mistaken for
the misdirection of wind.
Quick to warm…
slow to reheat.
If only I were better
at telling the difference between
what I want and what it is
I think I have.
Just For the Taste of It
my need for discomfort
is synthetic like my
protein shake.
you’re an ingredient
for flavor
and I lack the
palate and patience
to appreciate.
i break up with you
over and over,
but really I am
trying to get away
from the vulnerability
you bring up
in me.
and I tell myself
i didn’t love you;
i didn’t know you;
i didn’t want you…
but time tells
a different tale.
i do love you;
i did know you,
and I will always want you.
my love is real,
though there are
moments when
i wish it were not.
Calcium Deficiency
i take you in
any way
i can.
i ingest
your hopes,
your lies,
your secrets.
you rob
my sensitivity
with fear
like caffeine
robs the body
of calcium.
i am deficient
in logic
because
all I see is
you.
humiliation
by love
is the only
fix.
i am not broken,
but sometimes
i break.
To Know or Not To Know
you say you
hardly know me
and I guess
I’m hard to
know.
with all these
conflicts surfacing,
my fight will not
lie low.
maybe we can
only know
ourselves,
and the rest
is just for
show.
but I got sick
of hurting you,
so I let
the whole thing
go.
Some of the things I love...
Artists: Camille Claudel, Amedeo Modigliani, Henri Matisse,Francis Bacon, Alberto Giacometti, Otto Dix, Christian Schad, Jean Cocteau, Jean Dubuffet, Auguste Rodin, Salvador Dali, Francis Picabia, etc.
Writers: Kahlil Gibran, Albert Camus, Friedrich Nietzsche, Jean-Paul Sartre, Hermann Hesse, William S. Burroughs, Charles Bukowski, Virginia Woolf, Bret Easton Ellis, Flannery O'Connor, Tom Robbins, John Steinbeck, etc.
Activists: Betty Friedan, Simone de Beauvoir, David Suzuki, Bill McKibben, Paul Hawken, Michael Pollan, Aliaa Aagda Elmahdy and Che Guevara.
Musicians/Bands: Kurt Cobain, Bob Dylan, PJ Harvey, Karen O., Leonard Cohen, Lou Reed, Alison Mosshart, Bonnie Raitt, Arcade Fire, Adrian Young, The Gaslight Anthem, Patti Smith, The Kills, Fiona Apple, The Velvet Underground, Vive La Fete, Edith Piaf, Chopin, NIN,No Doubt, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Bush, Radiohead, Devendra Banhart, Bon Iver, The Knife, T-Rex, Leadbelly, Bessie Smith, The Cranberries, CCR, The Rolling Stones, David Bowie, The Germs, Ida Maria, Jeff Buckley, Joss Stone, Joy Division, The Strokes, Led Zeppelin, The Lumineers, The Mars Volta, The Mint Chicks, Prince, Our Lady Peace, Wise Blood, Sleater-Kinney, Sublime, Syd Barrett, Wild Flag, Talking Heads, Tom Petty and the HB'ers, The Veils, Yodelice, etc.
